Learning Outcome 1
The revision process was new to me. But it was such a great help this year when writing papers and figuring out new ideas for what to write about. Through revision I was able to gain a better understanding of the prompt and formulate new thoughts regarding it. While doing revision I tried to focus on making a strong thesis, at first my thesis would always be generally what I wanted to talk about but it still could use a few touch ups. For example with our last writing prompt I had changed my thesis from has beauty draws out true emotion to about how music is one of the truest forms of beauty. The revision process also helped when working my sentences. Having other eyes really helps a lot because you get that second opinion on what you have written. And in most cases what the other people would pick up were things that if I would to fix them would make my essays much better. With the help of others my papers gained better flow and just overall a better quality.
Learning Outcome 2
The major thing that helped the papers that we wrote was the evidence. But many times people use evidence without putting it in the correct spot. They would just throw it in and not have a good lead up to it. But we learned how to do quote sandwiches and this improved. With evidence I was able to back up my thesis better. With actual proof of what the author had said or integrating their ideas into our papers it would give them validation. With the evidence it strengthens whatever your paper is trying to say. For example “College is not easy and it is not a completely pleasant place to be it even is “unsettling; it is not meant to be a cosy experience”. The Idea Of Higher Education explains that these higher education students must grasp the idea that you may be on a path to go somewhere, you may not actually know where this path of higher education will bring you.” was a part that I had in one of my essays. I used a quote that relates towards what I was saying while backing up my statement.
Outcome 4
Commented [1]: Good introduction, I like how you explained the idea of integrating the arts into the sciences.
Commented [5]: This is true, why do we need empathy in the world of science?
Commented [6]: Good statement, I gathered from the article that maybe it is more just an idea that people need to approach scientific questions with a little more creativity, cause pottery will not help!
Commented [EL8R7]: Expand more on this idea and add stuff to back up
Commented [11]: This is great with helping people understand exactly as to what you are trying to express in your paper
Commented [13]: Though it is a very logical process, Lehrer is saying that art can help add incite into different ways to approach each step. Therefore still following the particular order.
Commented [14]: Now I think you need to discuss more on what you think art can help with because most this essay is explaining as to why you believe that art holds no place
Throughout the essay you explain how there should be some limitation on arts role in the scientific world. But in your introduction paragraph you say that you believe that art should compliment science. You seem to be bashing art the whole idea of art which kinda contradicts your whole thesis. If you change your thesis to art holding no point the essay would make more sense. I think if you add more on the positives that art can do in science and how i can help it. I understand this essay is our opinion but you use TONS of “I”s. You can still express your opinion without using I, I just think it makes the essay sound a little odd when reading. If you do some more brainstorming regarding the plus of art to science and add some content in about that you should be good to go. Look over the essay and try to see what improvements you could make to strengthen your thesis. As of right now you have lots of content that go against it so review that.
When following this codes of categorizing comments most of mine were about organization and local feedback. My peer review partner’s essay really contradicted what he was trying to say in he thesis so it was confusing. I added comments to remind him to expand on a thought or maybe change something up a little more. For example “Expand more on this idea and add stuff to back up ” would be a local feedback because I am telling him to focus on a small idea and to write some more about. I enjoyed the peer review process, when adding comments to other people’s papers I found ways to improve my papers as well. I was able to see common mistakes that they were making and try to focus on not making those when I wrote. Then with the 150 word comment I could express my overall ideas and opinion on the paper. With the comments you just put a short thing on what to fix but with writing the 150 word comment you could say so much more. I could talk about all of the codes together and what the peer needs to focus on more when revising their paper.
Learning Outcome 5 & 6
Citing papers was a tough thing for me to do. I have used MLA format for years but I always need to go back to something to find out how to do it correctly. I felt that with my papers before I would not know how to properly put a quote in and I would always cite it wrong. But through this class I believe I have gained some knowledge as to what to do when citing quotes and authors. In our paper on higher education there were two people that were discussed so you could not just cite the person that had wrote the paper so for cases in which I was talking about on of the person’s ideas I put “Nussbaum does say “education is not just about the passive assimilation of facts and cultural traditions, but about challenging the mind to become active, competent, and thoughtfully critical in a complex word”.“. I introduced which person had said it which is a way to cite because I am stating who had said it. I have also gotten better at MLA formatting from using our Little Segal book which shows us how to cite things the right way. I also now know when I am writing a paper in which we are using multiple articles I need to make sure to put the authors name and what page I found the quote on in parentheses after the quote. Like i did in my significant writing project Any of these questions can be extremely difficult and time consuming to figure out “The greater one’s science, the deeper sense of mystery” (Lehrer 2008), I stated what person was saying the quote.
